Today is a big & important day.

Andrea Chamberlain of The Creative Junkie and I are interviewing each other. We’re practicing…for our upcoming radio show where we will be taking questions from listeners & acting like psychologists in order to make other people’s lives better & the world a happier place. It feels necessary that you (as a potential listener) get to know us better so here we have an interview with Andrea…I’m sure you will see that she is qualified (more than qualified) to take on any question and help to improve your life or the life of a loved one. Or someone you don’t love. We’re not choosy.

This is her face. The face of a budding psychologist who lives in upstate New York, drives a Honda & shops at Wegman’s. She also has a small dog that likes to poop.

More on Andrea below:

1. Where were you born? What was the weather like at your birth?

I was born in Rochester, New York in April so odds are it was a blizzard. Or
a heat wave. I’m not sure because I was too preoccupied with fighting my
twin brother in utero over which one of us would get bragging rights to the
title of Older Sibling. I have no evidence but I’m pretty sure Tino
distracted me by sitting on my umbilical cord and cutting off my food
supply. Then, while I was busy trying not to starve to death, he budged in
line and the next thing I knew, Dr. Durfee was shouting CONGRATULATIONS, YOU
HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY! One minute later, Dr. Durfee pulled me out and
shouted CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE A TENSE AND UNDERWEIGHT BABY GIRL! And then I was whisked away to the neonatal unit where I can tell you that the
weather inside my incubator was warm and humid with an 85% chance of
permanent neurosis.

(editors note: Ms. Chamberlain is still a nervous wreck. Read her blog & you’ll see for yourself).

2. Why did your mother move away from you?

I made her an offer she couldn’t refuse. Just so you know, I typed that in
my best Marlon Brando impression. I don’t do that for just anyone. Just
special people like you.

(editors note: as we see, Ms. Chamberlain really evaded this question).

3. Do you enjoy cleaning your home? Give us your top cleaning trick.

Cleaning my home ranks right up there with having my eyeballs removed with a
blunt spork. My best tip? Have kids and make them do it. I’d suggest popping
out one kid for every powder room or two kids for every full bath. Any more
than that and you’re setting yourself up for endless fights over who gets to
use the toilet brush which, honestly? There are worse things. But any less
than that and you’re bound to be sitting in pee droplets and showering with
mold more often than you like.

(editors note: Probably not a good idea to let Hazel drop by).

4. Why do YOU think the chicken crossed the road?

So that he would go down as the most controversial and debated bird in the
history of ever. I mean, how smart was he? Do you ever hear about the
chicken that didn’t cross the road? Exactly.

5. How are you going to prevent your teenage and pre-teen daughters from
becoming the kind of teenager that you describe yourself as?

Transgender surgery?

(editors note: Ms. Chamberlain probably doesn’t realize this…but chances are it’s too late for the surgery).

6. What is your worst dating experience?

You don’t have enough bandwidth for me to get into my dating history. I once
had dinner with a guy who spent the entire night switching the part in his
hair from the left side to the right and then back to the left again with
his butter knife. It was the longest year of my life.

(editors note: This IS pretty gross. I hope he didn’t have dandruff..or try to kiss Chamberlain. But then again, she didn’t say, did she? Sneaky).

7. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?

Mrs. Anderson Cooper. I think it has a nice ring to it and bonus! I don’t
even have to change my monogrammed towels! If I had monogrammed towels,
which I don’t. But if I did, I’d be all set.

(editors note: Read her blog. Every other word is Anderson Cooper. I swear).

You can read Andrea’s interview with me here.